From Awkward to Aha: Turning Embarrassing Moments into Cultural Insights

On one of my first international trips, I found myself in South Africa. I loved it—our team was working with various groups, trying to build bridges between white South Africans and Black South Africans around shared faith and values.

One weekend, I was invited to a BBQ. The food was delicious, the company was diverse, and the conversations were rich. Everything was going smoothly—until I did something very ordinary: I spilled food on myself.

No big deal, right? I casually asked the table, “Could I get a napkin?”

Immediately, every conversation stopped. The laughter and chatter vanished, replaced by silence so thick I could almost hear tires screeching. My face grew redder by the second as I realized I had stepped into a cultural landmine.

After what had seemed to be an eternity of silence, someone asked: “What do you need?”

Knowing that I had likely said something wrong, but not knowing what, I replied that I just needed to clean myself up.

They smiled and replied gently, “Oh, you mean a serviette. Or even just a paper towel. Here, ‘napkin’ often refers to feminine hygiene products.”

And just like that, my face turned the deepest shade of red possible. Thankfully, the group chuckled, handed me a serviette, and extended grace for my blunder.

Lessons in Cultural Curiosity

That moment, though embarrassing, was one of my earliest lessons in cultural curiosity. Here are a few takeaways that might help you, too:

1. Mistakes are inevitable. If you spend any significant time in another culture, you will make mistakes. That’s okay. Embarrassment is sometimes the cost of cross-cultural learning.

2. Learn from the moment. I may have overcorrected (to this day, I almost never use the word “napkin” anywhere!), but that is not the real lesson. The real lessons come with self-assessment and reflection after an embarrassing event. To take a step further, debriefing with a trusted cultural guide can help you understand the culture you are in even better.

3. Language is cultural. Even when speaking the “same” language, meanings can diverge. English in South Africa isn’t the same as English in the U.S.—and that’s not a problem, it’s a gift. Different uses of words carry different histories, experiences, and perspectives.

4. Grace goes a long way. Most people are generous with outsiders. My hosts could have been offended or embarrassed for me, but instead they laughed, offered me what I needed, and helped me learn.

5. Don’t retreat—reengage. The temptation after embarrassment is to shut down or withdraw. But curiosity calls us back into relationship. When you accept grace, you get to deepen trust and connection.

“Cultural curiosity doesn’t protect us from awkward moments—it leads us through them.”

The Bigger Picture

Cultural curiosity doesn’t prevent awkwardness. It transforms it. Missteps become opportunities, not failures, when we let them teach us. The key is not to avoid embarrassment but to embrace it as a doorway into humility, growth, and deeper connection with others.

A Question for You

Have you ever had an embarrassing cultural moment that later became a lesson? What did it teach you?